Lately, I've been feeling the effects of being in-between. In-between finishing school and starting a career and a family. In-between being the president, chair and organizer of everything and being in charge of nothing but myself. I'm somewhere in-between wanting to stay up all night drinking and dancing and needing to go to bed early on a Friday night so I can get a jump start on errands the next day. In the morning I want a house and a baby and by the afternoon I'm nostalgic for the days when Jake and I had just met and we would walk to Jack in the Box with friends in the middle of the night and we didn't own any furniture that wasn't second hand. I hope we never forget those times.
The in-between makes me act so strangely sometimes. I'll say something and immediately want to take it back, thinking that it's been years since I felt like that, talked like that, acted like that. At first it feels gratifying, but then it seems played out and finished, like a kid testing out swear words. It's been a while since I've had to reconcile with multiple mes or try so hard to be who I want to be. The plateau was nice and comforting, but I think the re-building is important too.
Only God knows the plan and only he can see the results ahead. I've been praying for him to show it to me, but I know that 99% of the battle is just trusting that it's good like he promises.
Besides that, I've been busy...
Last week, I had four midterms and two sick days. I'm planning two events for Alpha Xi Delta, plus my birthday party. My birthday is in four days and my sister-in-law's wedding is in five. On Saturday, Jake and I set a personal record in errand running when we visited Costco, Walmart, Kaiser, Pruneyard Custom Tailor, Office Max, Oakridge Mall and Michael's all in one go, then got called up to help with wedding projects until 2am. Between meetings and errands and trying to remember to eat, it's been a wild ride lately. Our apartment is destroyed. On the up side, I've ordered so many things online lately that everyday is like Christmas! There is always a package on the doorstep and I never have any clue what it will be until I open it. I'm hoping to catch up the blog with projects and planning soon, but until I can catch a breather, here are some iPhone photos documenting the last couple weeks. Enjoy!
Bridesmaid's Shoes
New Rain Boots
...and it hasn't rained a day since.
A Late Night Trip to Target
Jake was very impressed with the new cart boy's work.
The man loves order and symmetry.
New Couch Pillows from CB2
A Friday Night Craving
Cookie Sundae at Ben & Jerry's.
Flattered to be Featured on OPT Again
Invitations for AXiD Family Day
I designed, printed, addressed, sorted, licked and stamped 72 of these babies.
Back at Work
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Remember when I was a senior and managed to note that everything was "fine" and couldn't figure out what to ask for help for? That was my in-between time, and I swear that it's the hardest stage to progress through. Just keep in mind that "this too shall pass" and that your identity and abilities haven't changed - just your surroundings and circumstances.
ReplyDeleteLove you, tobes. <3
ann-
ReplyDeletei definitely understand that much better now. love you so much!